Brittany Murphy Fired From Her Latest Movie

Here's a shocker to start your day...

Brittany Murphy Fired From Her Latest Movie!

Now what do you think the odds are/were of you ever reading about "Brittany Murphy Fired"?

You and I get fired for being hard to get along with, and just basically being Prima donnas...but NOT Brittany Murphy?!!

Well, word is out that she has, although her publicist denies it.

Really...

Do you care about Brittany Murphy Fired?

Is it really a shocker that she is hard to get along with (allegedly)?

Ummm...NO.


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Man Claimed God Told Him To Steal A New Dodge

From the Lame Excuse File:

A Lexington, Kentucky man smashed a window at a local Dodge Dealership with the intent to get his hands on a brand new Dodge Charger. Fortunately, a security guard put the brakes on the 36-year-old man's plan, before he could take off on the unauthorized test drive.

What excuse do you suppose he used to explain his actions to police?

When officers arrived, he told them that God had spoken to him, and ordered him to steal a 2009 Dodge Charger.

When asked his name, the man told local law enforcement that he was "Seven".

The man faces charges including criminal mischief...

And he is awarded the "Lame Excuse of the Month" Award from Fileunderi.




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Store Launches Left Handed Underpants For Left Handed Men

From the "It's about damn time!" file:

A British store has decided it is about time to stop discrminating against left-handed men and has launched a line of left handed mens underpants.

That's right. Left Handed Underpants.

In case you are not familiar with men's underpants, the vertical slit for handy access is on the right side. Always.

Not anymore!

Now, all you left-handed Brits (and hopefully the rest of the world) can purchase underwear that has a horizontal slit designed for easy access for southpaws. Previously, boxer shorts were best suited for left-handers, but they don't have quite the...er...support that briefs provide.

A spokesman for the store claims that this is a huge step in the fight for "equality" for left handed men...AND they will spend less time at the john, as they won't have to "perform a Z shaped maneuver through two 180 degree angles..."

Earth shattering news, don't you think?


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Wanted: Woman To Stick Head In Toilet To Prove Homicide Case Theory

Every morning, when we rise from our slumber, we wonder if today will be the day that no one has done anything odd or strange the day before. What if there isn't anything odd to report on? But, each day we are rewarded with little gems like this one:

Wanted: Woman To Stick Head In Toilet To Prove Homicide Case Theory

If you are a female about 5 foot 8, 140 pounds and willing to stick your head in a toilet, a northern Wisconsin prosecutor wants your help in a homicide case.

Vilas County Dist. Atty. Al Moustakis plans to recruit volunteers for a second round of controversial tests designed to prove that a woman was drowned by her husband in a toilet — and didn't commit suicide as he claims.

The experiments involve positioning women the size of the late Genell Plude of Land O' Lakes around a toilet to determine whether the version of events told by her husband, Douglas Plude, is plausible. Defense lawyers say it's laughable junk science.

Read More Of The Article Here


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Growling, Dog Food Eating Man Arrested

Authorities arrested a 32-year-old Texas man on drug charges on Thursday after construction workers saw him on his hands and knees, eating mud and growling like a dog. A woman who accompanied the man from Texas told investigators he had been wandering around the complex and eating dog food.

Sheriff's Lt Horace Womack said a small bottle of PCP, a half-pound of marijuana and one-fourth ounce of crack cocaine were seized during the man's arrest.

The man was booked with possessing all three drugs with intent to distribute them. He was placed in a cell where jailers at the DeSoto Detention Center could keep an eye on him.


Source: AP

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In Iraq They Take Their Soccer Seriously

A weekend soccer game south of Baghdad,Iraq between Buhairat and their rival Sinjar had an unusual ending. As the game wound down and Sinjar clung to a 1-0 lead the striker for Buhairat faced only the Sinjar goalie for the potential tying goal.

What to do?

A Sinjar supporter had the answer...he shot the Buhairat striker in the head, killing him.

The Sinjar supporter was arrested.

No word on the final score.

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Bestiality Is Still Legal In Florida

Bestiality is still legal in Florida, but not for much longer. A state senate committee has voted to make any sex with an animal charge a third-degree felony.

Florida is one of 16 states that still permit bestiality. Most of the states do not actually permit sex with animals, but the laws are so vague that prosecution is impossible. Animal-rights activist and Florida State Senator Nan Rich found this out when a Florida man three years ago was suspected of accidentally asphyxiating a family goat with which he was copulating.

“There’s a tremendous correlation between sexually deviant behavior and crimes against children and crimes against animals,” said Rich," This is long overdue. These are heinous crimes. And people belong in jail.”

But the man suspected of assaulting Meg the Goat was never charged, because law enforcement officials could never link him to the crime scene. The suspect was arrested in a separate goat-abducting months later, said Walton County Assistant State Attorney Walter Parker.

Two goat incidents with one man? Wow.

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Man Kills Girlfriend Over Beer Attempts Sex With The Corpse

Robert Conde and Ruth Ann Trueblood were drinking a few beers outside in Fort Lauderdale, Florida when Ruth decided Robert couldn't have any more beer. Robert got upset, forced Ruth on her back and beat her to death with his fists. Apparently realizing he wouldn't be able to have sex with a woman in jail, he pulled down her pants and attempted to have intercourse with the corpse. His attempt was unsuccessful, so he covered her up and lay on the ground beside her.

Police found the body behind a building the following morning and Conde was near the crime scene so they questioned him. Conde initially told police he didn't know her...then he said, "OK, all right. I did it. I killed her," according to the arrest report.

He is charged with first degree murder and is being held without bond. Charges of 1st degree stupidity should follow soon...

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