10 Swine Flu Facts To Consider While You Devour Your Pork Tenderloin

Welcome to the Swine Flu Scare of 2009, brought to you by "The Press".

The Press...Beating the hell out of stories since Gutenberg and whipping up panic until the story is dead. Then beating the hell out of it some more. (See Virus, Conficker and Scare, Y2k as examples)

Anywhooo...here are a few facts to consider before you buy your masks or pack the family up and head for the hills for a few months.

1. At last count 150 deaths in Mexico and 1 possible in the USA have been attributed to the Swine Flu. According to the CDC, roughly 13000 deaths have been attributed to regular old influenza in the USA since January. Worldwide annual numbers for regular old influenza are estimated at 250k to 500k. Every year. Year in and year out. We can only speak for Fileunderi, but call us when The Swine Flu attains these numbers.

2. Surgical masks provide little if any protection...although they look really cool and also serve to drum up panic. Health officials say the best defense is to WASH YOUR HANDS consistently. So...wash 'em till they bleed folks.

3. You can't get swine flu from eating pork. There haven't been any reported cases of them there swines getting this flu...or of spreading it. We will say this again: YOU CAN'T GET IT FROM EATING PORK. So, settle down US Pork Industry. Which brings us to...

4. The US Pork Industry is raising all kinds of hell and wants Swine Flu to be renamed. In a recent press conference, US Government officials took great care not to call Swine Flu "Swine Flu". We believe they called it H1N1. (Apparently the H1N1 is in this flu mix. H1N1 was in the Spanish Flu pandemic too.). Hell, many people in the US don't even know the definition of swine and how it relates to "pork". We at Fileunderi think the Pork Producers should do a commercial along the lines of "Pork. The Other White Meat." We are thinking maybe... "Swine. That Other Influenza". They should use this and take advantage of all the free press they are getting.

5. Speaking of the term Swine Flu...Israel refuses to call it Swine Flu (something about eating pork, what the hell do we know?). In Israel, they refer to it as Mexican Flu.

6. There is not a vaccine for this Flu. However, we have come a long way from the 1918 Spanish Flu Pandemic and the 1968 Hong Kong Flu pandemic. It's doubtful that we would see those kinds of mortality rates with this flu strain. But...who knows?

7. Nobody knows why folks in Mexico are dying from this and folks elsewhere are not.
By the way...the child who passed away in the U.S. today was from Mexico and just visiting.

8. The symptoms for this flu and "normal every day" flu are the same, EXCEPT Swine Flu is reported to bring with it more severe vomiting and diarrhea.

9. According to this story in The Sun (LOL), a man who shook Obama's hand in Mexico collapsed the next day and died with Swine Flu like symptoms.

10. We here at Fileunderi eat our Pork Tenderloins with Mustard. Do you prefer mustard or mayo or something else on yours? Let us know with a comment.

Did we answer all your question? Good.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled mass panic.


Enter to win new LandRover!

WAIT! Find More Fileunderi Insanity Here!

1 comment:

Melaa said...

I would prefer to eat my pork with a Nun!