Seattle Police Arrest Potential Craigslist Killer For "A Strange Desire" Ad

Seattle Police Arrest Potential Craigslist Killer For "A Strange Desire" Ad

Fileunderi's "Extremely Stupid Criminal Of The Week":

Seattle police have arrested 24 Year Old Shawn Tyler Skelton after he posted an ad on Craigslist with the heading "A Strange Desire". The ad was listed under the Casual Encounters section for the Seattle-Tacoma area. The ad indicated that Skelton wanted to meet a woman, bump nasty and then kill her.

Police say they were told of the ad last Wednesday and Vice Detectives then exchanged emails with Skelton. They set up a meet at a local motel and then arrested him when he showed up with a heavy chain and a knife.

Skelton faces attempted murder charges and his bail is set at 1 Million Dollars.

Fileunderi wants to know...Where do these lunatics come from???

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When Pigs Fly

Making the rounds electronically:

Many people have said a black man would would be in the White House when pigs fly. After 100 days...the swine flu.

(We know. GROAN. We just pass this crap onto you. We don't make it up. Usually.)

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10 Swine Flu Facts To Consider While You Devour Your Pork Tenderloin

Welcome to the Swine Flu Scare of 2009, brought to you by "The Press".

The Press...Beating the hell out of stories since Gutenberg and whipping up panic until the story is dead. Then beating the hell out of it some more. (See Virus, Conficker and Scare, Y2k as examples)

Anywhooo...here are a few facts to consider before you buy your masks or pack the family up and head for the hills for a few months.

1. At last count 150 deaths in Mexico and 1 possible in the USA have been attributed to the Swine Flu. According to the CDC, roughly 13000 deaths have been attributed to regular old influenza in the USA since January. Worldwide annual numbers for regular old influenza are estimated at 250k to 500k. Every year. Year in and year out. We can only speak for Fileunderi, but call us when The Swine Flu attains these numbers.
Thanks.

2. Surgical masks provide little if any protection...although they look really cool and also serve to drum up panic. Health officials say the best defense is to WASH YOUR HANDS consistently. So...wash 'em till they bleed folks.

3. You can't get swine flu from eating pork. There haven't been any reported cases of them there swines getting this flu...or of spreading it. We will say this again: YOU CAN'T GET IT FROM EATING PORK. So, settle down US Pork Industry. Which brings us to...

4. The US Pork Industry is raising all kinds of hell and wants Swine Flu to be renamed. In a recent press conference, US Government officials took great care not to call Swine Flu "Swine Flu". We believe they called it H1N1. (Apparently the H1N1 is in this flu mix. H1N1 was in the Spanish Flu pandemic too.). Hell, many people in the US don't even know the definition of swine and how it relates to "pork". We at Fileunderi think the Pork Producers should do a commercial along the lines of "Pork. The Other White Meat." We are thinking maybe... "Swine. That Other Influenza". They should use this and take advantage of all the free press they are getting.

5. Speaking of the term Swine Flu...Israel refuses to call it Swine Flu (something about eating pork, what the hell do we know?). In Israel, they refer to it as Mexican Flu.

6. There is not a vaccine for this Flu. However, we have come a long way from the 1918 Spanish Flu Pandemic and the 1968 Hong Kong Flu pandemic. It's doubtful that we would see those kinds of mortality rates with this flu strain. But...who knows?

7. Nobody knows why folks in Mexico are dying from this and folks elsewhere are not.
By the way...the child who passed away in the U.S. today was from Mexico and just visiting.

8. The symptoms for this flu and "normal every day" flu are the same, EXCEPT Swine Flu is reported to bring with it more severe vomiting and diarrhea.

9. According to this story in The Sun (LOL), a man who shook Obama's hand in Mexico collapsed the next day and died with Swine Flu like symptoms.

10. We here at Fileunderi eat our Pork Tenderloins with Mustard. Do you prefer mustard or mayo or something else on yours? Let us know with a comment.

Did we answer all your question? Good.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled mass panic.


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MySavings.com HeyItsFree Freebies Spoofie

Today's Fileunderi Website of the Day is actually Websites of the Day:

Freebies!


mysavings.com...Free Samples - Printable Grocery Coupons - Free Stuff & Freebies!

heyitsfree.net...Hey Its Free! | Daily freebies, free stuff, and free samples!

Spoofee...Find the latest coupons, discounts, bargains, weekly ads and deals for all your shopping needs on Spoofee.com. Updated everyday!

Freebies.com...Freebies, The Online Magazine with Something for Nothing!

So there you go. 4 Websites to Freebie yourself to your hearts content. Hey its free!

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Lawyer Falls Down Manhole During Crime Scene Visit

Lawyer Falls Down Manhole During Crime Scene Visit

A barrister fell down a nine foot deep manhole and broke his hand during a jury visit to a crime scene. James Howard was personally welcomed back into Chelmsford Crown Court by the judge presiding over the trial with the words that he was "bloodied but unbowed".

Mr Justice Ian Burnett acknowledged Mr Howard as he came into court.

Read More At Telegraph.Co.Uk

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Doh! The Technorati Monster escaped again.

Doh! The Technorati Monster escaped again.

We are curious if ANYONE other than blog owners use Technorati? Ever heard of it? Leave us a comment...we'll call it an informal poll.

Anyway, the Technorati Monster is loose again..which is Technorati's way of telling those of us who DO use the website that they have "backend issues". Again. Did we mention again?

Yes, Technorati, you do have "backend issues"...like where your head is stuck. That is a definite back end problem.

Just sayin'.

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The Game You Only Play Once (Bad Hopscotch)

Found this over at Digg...



This is just so wrong:



Image Source: Digg

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Man Tries To Kill Spider In His House With A Lighter

Man Tries To Kill Spider In His House With A Lighter

Guess what the end result was?

Firefighters (that gives it away, doesn't it?) say the man, in his 40s, had been trying to set fire to the spider as it crawled up the front of the semi-detached property

But sparks reached material behind the cladding and caused a fire within the walls, shortly before midnight.

Three fire engines raced to the scene in Portsmouth, Hants, and found the man trying to put out the flames with a garden hose.

Read More Of The Story @ Telegraph.co.uk

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12 Bea Arthur Facts And Quotes: RIP Maude

12 Bea Arthur Facts And Quotes:

Yes, we know that to many of you Bea Arthur was Dorothy Zbornak on the show The Golden Girls. We regret to inform you that she was not..she was Maude, and will always be Maude. Yes, we are very old here at Fileunderi. Deal with it.

Here are 12 Bea Arthur facts and quotes, mixed all together:

Bea was a United States Marine before WWII and was also a qualified medical technician.

According to a television interview, Arthur got her start in comedy because she had a deep voice. What? She used to do torch songs in night clubs and the audience would laugh at her. A night club owner told her she should do comedy instead.

On playing "Vera Charles" in Mame (1974) "You know, the real name of this show is "Vera". The only reason they changed the name was because Jerry [lyricist Jerry Herman] couldn't think of a rhyme for it. Stephen Sondheim could have."

"After being in the business for such a long time, I've done everything but rodeo and porno."

Estelle Getty, who was a year younger than Bea Arthur, played Arthur's mother in The Golden Girls. They were very close, and Bea mourned her loss...

On the death of Estelle Getty in 2008: "Our mother-daughter relationship was one of the greatest comic duo's ever, and I will miss her."

She appeared on "Judge Judy" (1996) as a witness for a defendant who was involved in the animal rights organization PETA. The defendant won.

"All this time I've just wanted to be blonde, beautiful and 5 feet 2 inches tall."

Was the voice of the Femputer in the "Amazon Women in the Mood" episode of Futurama

Birth name was Bernice Frankel (pronounced Bur-ness)

She did not like to watch her own performances on television or film.

In 1999, Arthur told an interviewer of the three influences in her career: "Sid Caesar taught me the outrageous; Lee Strasberg taught me what I call reality; and Lotte Lenya, whom I adored, taught me economy."

Sources: IMDB, Wikipedia

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Paramedics Make Heart Attack Victim Walk Down 3 Flights Of Stairs

Paramedics Make Heart Attack Victim Walk Down 3 Flights Of Stairs

From The Telegram:

It was Mother’s Day last year, and Joan S. Rondeau was at work caring for elderly residents of a local nursing home when she got a telephone call that filled her with dread.

It was her daughter on the line. Mrs. Rondeau’s husband, Charles, wasn’t feeling well but was reluctant to go to the hospital. He had broken out in a sweat and was short of breath.

A colleague gave her a ride home from work. She dashed up the front staircase of the Winfield Street three-decker and found two UMass Memorial EMS paramedics steadying her stricken husband as they walked him down the three flights of stairs...

Read More At The Telegram.com



Unfreaking believable...




Image Source: The Telegram.com

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Does Your Dog Bite? No, But He Will Mace You If Provoked

The Fileunderi Moron Family of the Week:

A Press release from the Tualatin Valley Fire & Rescue in Oregon...

On Friday, April 24, at 8:47 a.m., Tualatin Valley Fire & Rescue's Hazardous Materials Team was called to a home in Tualatin following a 9-1-1 call reporting a family experiencing burning eyes, scratchy throats, and some trouble breathing, and a basement filled with a haze.

The family was advised by the 9-1-1 dispatcher to evacuate their home.

Engine/HazMat 34 from the Tualatin station arrived to find a mother, son, and grandmother outside the home. They were assessed by firefighters but did not require medical treatment or transport due to their symptoms diminishing upon exiting the home.

The crew donned breathing apparatus and turnouts and entered the home to ascertain the source of the problem. While searching the home for chemical products and other possible sources, they found a can of mace lying on the floor that had been punctured.

The family told firefighters that one of their four dogs had been acting strange just prior to their symptoms occurring.

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Hungry Girl: Tips And Tricks For Hungry Chicks!!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Murder Victim's Life Insurance Claim Denied for 'Pre-Existing Condition'

The widow of a man killed last year when he was shot in the back is suing the life insurance company that refuses to pay a claim because the man had a "pre-existing condition", unrelated to the cause of his death.

According to the lawsuit filed by Stephanie McCraw, widow of Curtis McCraw, who was gunned down by unknown assailants last April in Knoxville, Tenn., Settlers Life Insurance denied her claim because her husband had Hepatitis C.

Read More Of Story on ABC News

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DontDateHimGirl.com: Find Profiles of Those Bad Boys You Are Thinking Of Dating

Today's Fileunderi website of the day is DontDateHimGirl.com . If you visit DontDateHimGirl you can "Find profiles of men who are alleged cheaters, articles on dating and relationships, advice to help women make better decisions in finding the right man."

Sounds like a great site for the single ladies...and a source of entertainment for the ladies in committed relationships and us "few good men".

Here is the link to DontDateHimGirl.com, but apparently they are not designed for heavy traffic. Just bookmark it and return later to check it out. It's worth it.

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Woman Sues McDonalds And Liquor Store After Beating From Homeless Man

A woman in Tennessee is suing McDonalds and Uncle Koto Liquor Store after a homeless man she tried to give a cheeseburger to became irate and beat her. The homeless man is also named in the lawsuit. The woman is asking for two million dollars in damages.

Fran MacLaren came out of a McDonald's last April and saw Mr. Homeless, David Craig, lying down in a parking spot outside the restaurant. She gave him a cheeseburger. Mr. Homeless Man became irate, shouted that he didn't want the burger, just money and threw the cheeseburger back at MacLaren.

Her response? "I told him he was an ungrateful bastard".

Craig then rose up and struck her repeatedly. Her injuries included: a broken nose, a fractured wrist and cheekbone, a cracked rib and an injured knee.

MacLaren then went into the McDonald's to seek shelter, but was later locked out of the restaurant. (This was probably a bad move on McDonald's part...Ya think?) The Uncle Koto Liquor Store is named in the suit because they had kicked David Craig out of the store earlier in the day.

According to the suit, both husband and wife allege that the McDonald's and the nearby liquor stores, "knew, or should have known, that their mode of operating their particular stores attracted persons prone to criminal acts and provided an environment to crime."

Now Fileunderi is not pointing fingers at anyone here, but we probably would have walked away after the cheeseburger was hurled back at us and skipped the "ungrateful bastard part".

Just sayin'.

Source: Tennessean.com

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Controversial iPhone Baby Shaker App Removed By Apple

Controversial iPhone Baby Shaker App Removed By Apple

From Fileunderi's always bulging "WTF?" File and our "Who the hell approves iPhone Apps" file:

Apple has confirmed that their controversial Baby Shaker App was removed from iTunes on Wednesday.

In case you missed this fine App...

It was developed by a company called Sikalosoft and had the following tag line:

“On a plane, on the bus, in a theater. Babies are everywhere you don’t want them to be! They’re always distracting you from preparing for that big presentation at work with their incessant crying. Before Baby Shaker there was nothing you could do about it. See how long you can endure his or her adorable cries before you just have to find a way to quiet the baby down!”

The App had an illustration (link here) of baby, and when the iPhone was shaken vigorously the baby's eyes would be covered with red X's...simulating the death of the baby. There was also a timer to tell the shaker how long it took.

Obviously, outrage over this App was instant and the App was only available for two days.

Fileunderi is guilty of possessing one sick sense of humor, but there is absolutely nothing humorous about this App. And the obvious question is: Does anyone at Apple approve these Apps before they are made available?

Unfreakingbelievable...

Source: The Wall Street Journal Online

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Memo To The Somali Pirates: Read Before You Hold Americans Hostage Again

Memo To The Somali Pirates: Read Before You Hold Americans Hostage Again



Just sayin'...

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Saturn Total Confidence Commercial Spoof Video

The New Saturn Total Confidence Commercial Spoof Video:

Because desperate auto makers are desperate to sell cars.

The Fileunderi Video of the Day.



Video Source: YouTube User EvilTedBasketbawful

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Man Fabricates Armed Robbery To Make Ex-Girlfriend Feel Sorry For Him

The Fileunderi Stupid Criminal and Moron of the Day...all rolled into one:

Man Fabricates Armed Robbery To Make Ex-Girlfriend Feel Sorry For Him

PALM CITY — A Palm City man accused of fabricating an armed robbery last week to try to make his girlfriend feel bad for leaving him was arrested after deputies unraveled the ruse, according to recently released reports.

Derick A. Culberson, 22, initially told officials late Friday night that two men robbed him at gunpoint, the reports stated.

Read More at TCPalm.com

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Lego Rockband Announced: Staying Ahead Of Guitar Hero Is A Snap

The first shot was fired in the battle for the 2009 Holiday Season when Lego Rockband was announced today. From the Xbox website:

"Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment and TT Games have joined forces with the LEGO Group, Harmonix and MTV Games to merge two of the most popular video game franchises with the creation of LEGO Rock Band."

At first glance, the marriage of Rockband and Lego sounds a little far fetched, but if you read the entire press release HERE, you can plainly see that this is S-H-R-E-W-D as hell. This little ploy will drag the oldsters (that's us!) right into this popular franchise, and take away our last excuse for not letting the little ones play this game.

Oh nooooo, it's Family Friendly!

And how can we pass up Kung Fu Fighting?

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52 Year Old Stripper Attacked By Co Worker With Stiletto Shoe

52 Year Old Stripper Attacked By Co Worker With Stiletto Shoe

From our Bulging "WTF?" File:

A 52 Year Old Exotic Dancer (Stripper. Duh) was attacked by one of her Co-Workers Friday Night in beautiful Akron, Ohio. It seems that Ms. Stripper Coworker was mad because there was another mouth to feed at the ol' Strip Club.

Akron police Lt. Rick Edwards said,"The other girls were upset she was there and said, 'We don't need any more dancers around here.' ''

The victim, who decided to strip to help make ends meet, received multiple cuts to her face that required 7 staples. It was her first day (night) on the job.

The suspect is in her late 40's.

Okay.

We aren't surprised that a stripper would attack another stripper, nor does it shock us with the choice of weapons(use what you have available)...

But, FIFTY TWO YEARS OLD AND LATE FORTIES???? Where the hell is this strip joint? Next to a nursing home? Fileunderi will readily admit to stepping inside various strip clubs and "Gentleman's Clubs" (Love that term), and have seen women of various shapes, heights and degrees of attractiveness...umm...perform.

But, FIFTY TWO AND FORTY SOMETHING YEARS OLD???

We just threw up in our mouth a little.


Here is the Link to the Story on Ohio.com

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Girl Sends Messaqe To Wrong IM Screen Name. She Thinks It's Her Ex. It's Not.

Found this on Reddit from Reddit user kwirk

Here is the transcript of the "conversation"

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Jason Fortuny: Craigslist Troll Is $75000 Poorer

This is Jason Fortuny. Jason is a Seattle based freelance graphic designer and network administrator. Doesn't he look like your average everyday guy next door? Well, he is a little dorky looking...but other than that? Okay, Okay, he looks like a little freaking weasel...but, other than that?

Jason has a little problem. He gets bored easily. Apparently, he gets bored VERY easily. Back in September of 2006, Jason decided to copy another Craigslist poster, purportedly a real woman seeking a dominant male partner. He received 178 responses.

Was this enough to satisfy his trollness? No, Jason then decided to post ALL the responses, including pics and contact info, on a website called Encyclopedia Dramatica. He described it as "the Craigslist Experiment", and encouraged others to further identify the respondents.

The result of his "Craigslist Experiment", according to Fortuny the Troll: two people lost their jobs and another "has filed an invasion-of-privacy lawsuit against Fortuny in an Illinois court". The two men that lost their jobs can't be verified, but the lawsuit can: on April 9, 2009, Illinois federal court issued a default judgment in the case Doe v. Fortuny requiring Fortuny to pay $74,252.56 in damages, attorneys fees, and costs.

His title of Prince of Trolls assured, Jason went for the brass ring and the keys to the kingdom. In the aftermath of the suicide of Megan Meier, Fortuny created a blog called "Megan Had it Coming" and made nasty attacks on the dead girl and her family, while posing as Lori Drew, the author of the MySpace page that purportedly drove Megan to her suicide. In an interview with the New York Times, the Times reporter watched Fortuny log in to the blog and make a post. He told the reporter his reason for creating the blog was to "question the public’s hunger for remorse and to challenge the enforceability of cyberharassment laws" and added that "he was pleased with how the Megan Had It Coming blog succeeded".

Congrats on the success of both your "projects", Jason, and enjoy paying that 75K to Mr. Doe. You have been named the Fileunderi "Moron of the Month". The accolades just keep rolling in, don't they?



Sources: Laughing Squid, Wikipedia

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